


The days since he disappeared

by daninino



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: 707 | Choi Luciel Angst, 707 | Choi Luciel's Real Name, 707xZen couple tag is becuz he flirts with him on accident lol, Angst, But I tired my best, Canon Continuation, Choi Saeran After Ending (Mystic Messenger), Choi Saeran Angst, Choi Saeran Good Ending (Mystic Messenger), Choi Saeran Lives, Choi Saeran Needs a Hug, Choi Saeran Route, College, Crossdressing 707 | Choi Luciel, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I need closure lol, I think its very different from the actual afterending, Identity Reveal, It ll probably never be, It´s not finished xd, M/M, MC might be a little unstable, Mentioned 707 | Choi Luciel, Okay very unstable, POV 707 | Choi Luciel, Protective 707 | Choi Luciel, RFA Party (Mystic Messenger), Recovering Choi Saeran, Secret Identity, Serious 707 | Choi Luciel, Soft Choi Saeran, Story: The Disappearance of Lady Frances Carfax, This was written before Saeran AE, You Have Been Warned, and angry, but I wrote this because, but i still like it, hope you do too, i was sad, lol, lying
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-29
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:07:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 17,620
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29058738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daninino/pseuds/daninino
Summary: I am not one to keep count of the days, but it´s been a hundred and twenty-seven days since my friend Saeyoung Choi disappeared. Believe me when I say that I would do and will do anything to find him. But until then, I´ll just keep counting the days.
Relationships: 707 | Choi Luciel/Zen | Ryu Hyun, Choi Saeran & Main Character, Choi Saeran & Original Character(s), Choi Saeran & Reader, Choi Saeran/Main Character, Choi Saeran/Original Female Character(s), Choi Saeran/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 14





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I have a question for you: After you´ve consumed an unfinished piece of media, those it ever leaves you with that bitter aftertaste and intrigue of what is to happen next? Well, that´s exactly what happen to me a couple of months ago when I had just played Saeran´s Route. 
> 
> Playing the game was at the time was an escape from my life at the time. I remember being so invested in it that I cried several times playing it. For that same reason, I could help myself at the urge to have some sort of closure, even if I had to make it myself.
> 
> So I jump into Word Office Docs and started writing this, which if I´m honest has so many raw emotions from my part. It wasn´t my intention, but I think that I´ve never been a character in my own stories. That said, reading this a couple of months later makes me realized that I wasn´t as okay as I claimed to be. But please don´t worry, things have turned up for me lately.
> 
> I debated for some time if I should post this, because I never finished and I´m not sure if I ever will. And now we have an ending for the twins (which I´m currently playing so no spoilers, okay? xD). But I never seen myself like this, so angry, sad, and filled with self-hatred. I wanted the twins to be okay, because if they were, I could be even in my situation.   
> That´s why I´m posting it. And with that just one final disclaimer, this is not finish, and it´ll probably never be. I don´t want to leave you hook, so if this is a problem, you can go now. But if you decided to read it, or you read all this already, then thank you, it means a lot to me.

I am not one to keep count of the days, but it´s been a hundred and twenty-seven days since my friend Saeyoung Choi disappeared.

It all started a hundred and thirty-seven days ago when I received a strange call. I must emphasize; it was a _weird_ call. It was someone offering me a stay in “paradise” in exchange of me trying out a beta of this game he was developing. He was offering a private suite, with room service and mesmerizing views of the mountains and the stars. It sounded to good to be true and having some common sense I should have said no. But…I was a broke exchange student living isolated in a box size apartment downtown. Could you blame me for saying yes?

I have to say, he didn´t lie. I was received and installed into this beautiful room which oddly enough was decorated to my taste. The food was amazing, and the garden…woah. It really did look like a paradise. But there was one tiny detail they took out.

As the days past I got to know this boy name Saeran, though he at first went by Ray. He was sweet, but he was clearly tormented by his past and at the same time he was being manipulated by the **_Cult Leader_** Rika, who was also the ex-founder of the fundraising organization that I was unknowingly going to drag into this place with me.

Yeah, they forgot to mention that little detail, so learn from my mistakes. If you get that type of call, let me tell you, it´s a cult.

For the next ten days a lot of things happen, too many to explain. But to synthesize, I became friends with the people of the organization and with the help of them I was able to escape that place with Saeran. Everything was wrapping up, and I felt that I was finally going to be able to sleep. But…two days before that Saeyoung disappeared.

It´s been a hundred and twenty-seven days since that, and once the clock strikes twelve in five minutes it will be a hundred and twenty-eight days.

Is it obvious that I struggle to sleep? Saeran really gets mad at me if I don´t even try, but how can my eyes close when I don´t know where he is? When it feels like it´s my fault that Saeran lost his brother? That the RFA lost his smile because of me?

I can´t live with that, specially because…I feel this connection. I really feel like I´ve had this bond with everyone on the RFA ever since I met them. But ever since he disappeared, I just have the emptiness of his absence eating me. I need him to be okay. I need him here with everyone. I need him to be happy, like I´m sure we were on another lifetime.

As you must expect we been looking for him like crazy. Jumin, our now temporary leader and soon to be CEO of C&R has founded an intelligence unit that with the works of Saeran and Jahee have been working hard to locate him. Zen really help to show the truth about his father, and Yoonsung and I well, as college students we really can´t do much, but we both try to keep the teams spirts up.

So yeah, that´s all I know about him now, but believe me…I´m going to find him and I´ll keep counting the days until it happens.


	2. Chapter 1

As you know, I always have something else on my mind, yet…I can´t let my grades slip. You know how much money and effort took for my parent to send me here? Yeah, I´m not about to let that go to waste. Besides, if I want to stay here, I really need the grades, because…this place is starting to feel like a second home.

I guess that´s reason why I´m chasing my software design teacher around campus. “Mr. Park!” I say between the crowd. “Mr. Park, please wait!”

“Miss Chae?” he says he turns around to see me. “Um…Is there something that I could help you with?”

“Yes!” I say a little to loud, probably out of adrenaline. “Um…sorry to bother you…I just wanted to ask about some errors I´m having on my coding of the project.”

“Um…well, you caught me in a hurry” he said as he adjusted his glasses. “But I guess that Ms. Lee could help you” he turned to look at this tall girl wearing a black office suit that match her long black hair.

“I guess I could” she said softly as she placed one of her long strands of her behind her ear letting me see her deep purple eyes. “If it helps you, Mr. Park”

“It would” he smiled at her fondly. Suddenly I felt like I was interrupting something. “Well, sorry to leave you, but I really have to get going to this meeting Ms. Chae.”

“Don´t worry, Mr. Park” I said smiling back. “Please have a nice day.”

“You too, ladies” he waved as he went on his way.

Now that he was gone, I could feel the stare of Ms. Lee drilling through me. “I´m sorry, did I interrupt something?”

She sighs loudly. “Just an invitation to a meeting I really wanted to go, but…what can you do?” she said rather calmly. “Now, why don´t we sit down and I´ll see with what I can help you with”

“That would be great”

…

As the sun was starting to set, Ms. Lee and I sat in one of the outside tables with my laptop open and the poor and broken code that I dared to call a website.

“Woah, this is worse than I imagine” she said as she scrolled down her screen.

“I know” sighed. “I do as the textbook says, but it just doesn´t turn out”

“Mmm…Have you noticed you are using the wrong symbol here?”

“I am?”

“Yeah” she pointed at on off the many closing diagonals. “That character should be looking at the other side”

“It does?” I asked confused “But that´s the only one I have that looks remotely similar.”

“Well, maybe if you do this” she said as she pressed a couple of keys of my computer. “Tada! There you go!”

“What? How you do that?”

“Well, you use the second keyboard. You can access it if you press—”

The familiar song of my ringtone interrupted her. “Oh! Um...I´m sorry” I said embarrassed. “Would you mind if I answer? It´s my boyfriend”

“Go ahead” she smiled. “I´ll keep going at this”

“Thanks” I said as I answered. “Hey, how are you, honey?”

“Umm…It´s late and you aren´t home” Saeran said from the other line.

“I know, sorry about that, but I had to get help from a teacher”

“Is it about your coding?”

“Yeah”

“I told you I would help you”

“No, it´s fine, I really didn´t want to bother you”

“Mmhh…” I could feel that he was annoyed.

“Please, don´t be angry, Saeran” I said sweetly as I turned to see Ms. Lee staring at me. “Cheer up! I´ll bring you one of those sandwiches that you like, okay?”

“Mmhhh…” more of his silent complains. “Okay”

“Great, then I´ll see you in a little bit more” I said about to hang up when— “Oh! And if Yoosung goes by tell him that the books he wanted are on my desk, please.”

“Okay, I´ll tell him”

“Great, I love you…Bye!” I hanged up only to once again cross eyes with Ms. Lee. “Um…Is there a problem?”

“Huh? No, not at all” she said obviously jumping out of her train of thought. “It´s just that the name sounded familiar”

“Huh? Which one?”

“Umm…the Saeran one” she looked reluctant.

“Oh! Yeah, you probably heard it” I said brushing it off. “I really don´t like to mention it, but he is one of the Choi twins”

“One of the Choi twins?!” she asked surprised. “The ones from the news?! Those Choi twins?!”

“Yeah…”

“And you are his girlfriend?!”

“Um…yeah”

“Oh!” she said as she finally noticed how uncomfortable I was feeling. “I´m so sorry! I didn´t mean to be rude. It´s just—”

“It´s fine” I reassured her. “I would just appreciate if you didn´t tell anyone”

“Of course not!” she said and laid her hand on my arm. “I promise” her face was serious and with her eyes I felt like she was trying to tell me something else. And now that I got a better look, she just looked so…familiar?

“Umm…thank you” I finally said. “Also, thank you so much for helping me with my code”

“Oh, it was nothing” she smiled. “It´s been a while since I´ve code, so I guess I needed it”

I smiled. “Well, still thank you very much…and sorry you missed your meeting.”

“It´s fine, there will be other meeting”

“Still, let me make it up to you” I insisted. “Let me buy you something from the bending machine”

“There is no need for—”

“Please, or I´ll feel guilty from your meeting”

“Well, in that case” she smiled. “Could you get me a PhD. Pepper”

…

“I´m home” I said as I closed the door behind me only to find Saeran waiting for me sitting on our dinner table. “Huh? Were you waiting for me or your food?”

He looks at me with a small smile. “Both”

“Well, your prayers have been heard, because I´m here” I said as I place the bag on the table. “And so is your food”

He smiled again. Sometimes he didn´t get my humor, and that was fine…at least he always smiled with me. “I´ll bring the plates.”

“Thank you” I said as I started to get the hot boxes out of the bag.

“So, did your teacher helped you with the code?” he still sounded salty.

“Nop, actually his new intern helped me”

“Was he at least helpful?”

“Actually, she was really nice” I smiled at him. “Turned out my keyboard was the problem”

He places the plates and glasses on the table. “I could have figured that out”

“Of course, you could have” I reassured him. “But it´s my homework and I want to do it”

“Mmhh…” he groaned as he transferred his sandwich from the box to the plate. “At least she helped you”

“Yeah” I said finally sitting down. “She was actually kind of…peculiar?”

“Peculiar? What do you mean by that?”

“I don´t know” I said as I stared at my food. “I think I know her from somewhere, but I´m not sure from where”

“I could do a background check if you really want to know” he took a bite to his sandwich.

“Thank you, but its fine” I reassured him. “Besides, she is only an intern. I probably met her at a seminar or something.”

“Whatever you say” he said as he shrugged. “Please eat now before it gets cold.”

“Oh, you are right”

…

Another night goes by while I stare at the ceiling counting the minutes until the hundred and twenty-ninth day. At least tonight Saeran agreed to come to bed with me. As I feel his hand on mine I…I just feel how much I want to make him happy. How much I want everyone to be happy.

Saeyoung…I need to find you…

I feel the air scaping my lungs, I should probably think of something else before I start crying. Yet, there is nothing but homework to think about.

Well…now that I think about it, Ms. Lee seemed nicer than I thought I first, maybe because I interrupted her date with Mr. Park…but what can you do? She is supposed to help students, right? And she helped me so much and she was also kind of funny while at it.

Mmhh…maybe I do know her from somewhere, but I can´t remember…but from where? ...Actually, maybe she reminds me of someone…one of my friends from home? No…no one from there. Maybe Jaehee, she did really have secretary vibes…wait…I don´t think she…

The yellow peacking through her eyes…The way she reacted to hearing Saeran´s name…The Ph.D. Pepper! Don´t tell me?! That was—?!

I felt my body bolting up on it´s own and with it I knew that I had woken up Saeran.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked looking at me from his pillow.

“Ye-eah” I said moving the hair from my eyes. “I think I just had a bad dream” I lied.

“I know how that feels” he said with a sigh. “C´mon lay down” he patted my pillow and with that I slowly obeyed. “Give me your hand” I did, only to have him kiss it. “It´s going to be fine, I´m here” he smiled and so did I. “Please close your eyes, I´ll watch that you don´t have anymore nightmares”

I sighed and with my smile I closed my eyes and once I did, I felt his hand moving my hair away. Saeran…you have no idea how much I love you…and now more than ever…I can´t wait for the hundred and twenty-ninth day.


	3. Chapter 2

I shouldn´t make the sprinting through the hallways a habit, but I been seeing that long set of hair everywhere around campus and every time I can tell how she is avoiding me. Please, Ms. Lee just slow down! I need to talk to you!

At the end of the corridor I could see she had stopped to talk to someone, it had to be… ”Mr. Park!” I yelled. “Ms. Lee!” I said as I finished approaching. “Sorry, for being so loud it´s just that I been looking for you all day”

“Me?” Mr. Park asked.

“Um…I´m sorry…I meant Ms. Lee” I said awkwardly. “She helped me a lot yesterday, and I was hoping she could check my code again” I smiled at her.

“Oh, I would love to…” she responded. “But Mr. Park, we aren´t running late to a meeting”

“Well, I mean, I could fill you in on that like I did yesterday” he started with a smile. “And she seems to really want your help”

“Yes! Please Ms. Lee! I´ll buy you another Ph.D Pepper!”

“You are charging the student now?” he joked.

“Um…well, she offered?” she said as she took her hair out of her face.

“Please! Ms. Lee it´ll be quick!” I plead. “I promise!”

“You should go, Yoonah” Mr. Park smiled at her. “Besides, she is turning in her project to my class, and I would be disappointed to fail a student under your care”

She sighed in resignation. “Fine, Ms. Chae” she gave me that stare again. “But I do expect the Ph.D. that you mention.”

“Of course”

“Well, if it´s that solve then I´ll see you both tomorrow” Mr. Park said as he walked away.

“So, Ms. Chae, what is it today?” she asked as she turned to look at me.

“Well, why don´t we discuss this on the library?”

…

I was lucky enough that they had an empty studying room. As she came in, I made sure to close the curtains and lock the door. I turned around to see her raising an eyebrow.

“Do the curtains need to be close?”

“I like privacy” I smiled back as I went to sit in front of her. “So, how are you Ms. Lee?”

She stared at me. “Let´s get to the point Ms. Chae, I have things to do”

“Very well” I responded. “Ms. Lee do we know each other from somewhere?”

“I believe we don´t”

“Well…it´s just that you seem so familiar?” I asked to myself. “And yesterday…I was thinking that you remined me a lot of a friend I have”

“Friend?” she asked as she crossed her arms.

“Yeah, I guess…you kind of look like him”

“Him?” her eyebrow raised.

“Yeah…you seem to have the same bone structure, and even a little bit of yellow on your eyes…by the way are those contacts?”

She lifted her hand to her eye. “Yes!” self-consciousness on her voice. “Is there something wrong with wearing them?”

“Not at all” I reassured her. “They look really pretty on you”

Silence started to cloud the room. Am I doing the right thing? I really don´t have any proof that she could be him. Only a bunch of coincidence, and small details that connected them. Yet I feel it in my gut that it´s him. It is him, right? I´m not going crazy?

Well…if she really wasn´t him, what´s the worst that could happen? She reports me and it goes to my record…yeah, nothing serious at all…it´s going to be fine.

“Ms. Lee, I wanted to ask you…” I said as I turned to look at her. “have you ever heard of the RFA?”

Her eyes were still cold. “No”

“It´s short for Rika´s Fundraising Organization.” I smiled as I held my hands together on the table. “It´s an organization that dedicates to planning charity parties, and I´m their party planner.”

“Good for you, Ms. Chae”

“I´m impressed you don´t know us” I commented. “…we were actually the one to release all that information about the prime minister, and you know…the Choi twins”

“Nice from your part, sweetie” she crossed her legs. Maybe I was getting more on her nerves than what I´ve realized. “That was a bold move from your organization”

“Thank you, but there is no need to complement us” I said staring back at her. “As you may know one of the Choi twins is still missing, and he was part of our organization.”

“I´m sorry to hear that.”

“We…” I felt my words not being able to slip out my mouth. It had been months, but it still felt so fresh in my mind. “are doing everything there is in our power to find him.”

“I´m glad you are, Ms. Chae” she smiled “But I don´t know how all of this involves me?”

“Well, you see, I think that my friend is fine, but…” How should I phrase this “you could say he is especially good at hiding?”

“So, you think he is hiding?” She questions. “So why would he not communicate with you?”

“Well, he has a rather…unusual job.”

I´m trying to not disclose all the information, only enough so he would take the bait. But if it wasn´t him…everything I´ve said is enough to get me in trouble. _I really hope they won´t get mad at me_.

“And if what I´ve discovered is true…he was possibly ready to disappear even before he was kidnapped.”

“So, if you know that than why are you still looking for him?” she questions me again. “He might not want to be found”

“Isn´t it obvious?” I felt myself chuckled. “He is our friend…he was the heart of the organization and I´m sure he doesn´t know it.” My eyes water a little. “I only knew him for a couple of days…but I feel this connection with him, and I can see how deeply everyone loved him. I-I…We-e just need to know he is okay”

“I´m sure he is Ms. Chae” she says with a sigh. She is probably already done with my pity party, but I need to tell him that…

“And also…his brother needs him”

She looks away. “I´m sure he does” she said in a low voice.

“Seven” She quickly turns to see me. “I know it´s you”

The room went silent. “Excuse me?”

“Seven, I know it´s you” I say again. “And you know who I am” my grip tightens around my own fingers. “I know you never seen me, but you knew yesterday, didn´t you?”

“Ms. Chae, don´t take it the wrong way” started and I could feel concern in her voice. “but I think that the fact that you are confusing me for your friend might indicate some kind of mental—”

“Seven, please” I begged him. “I´m Moon Chae…you knew me as MC…we are friends…V told us about you, about everything that you went through with Saeran…” I shouldn´t have said that. I was talking too much, yet I couldn´t stop. “…He told us that you were an informant…that those times you were cosplaying you were really on missions.”

“Again, Ms. Chae, I think you are—”

“Seven!” I yelled not caring if they might come to kick me out. “I know it´s you! No one else would know code as well as you! Or would react that way when hearing his name! And the Ph.D. its your favorite! You love it and always have it with Honey Buddah Chips!” I said again before the knot on my throat wouldn´t let me. “Please Seven, it has to be you”

I look down to see my hands shaking. When had I stood up? Now my legs feel weak and my body wants to plum into the chair. I cover my face with my hands as I feel the warm of my desperation coming down from my face.

Her silence was my answer. Now I know I am crazy…Was she not really Seven? Was I imagining his voice? Was I seeing things were there was nothing? Has my guilt really brought me this far? To harassing an innocent woman just because I had a feeling it was him?

“Ms. Chae” she said calmly, and I faintly lifted my head.

“Ms. Lee…” I whispered as wiped the tears off my face. “Please forgive me, it´s just…. …you don´t know how worry I—”

“Ms. Chae” she said again. I look at her only to see her smiling with satisfaction. “I´m surprised to tell you that you are right”

“Wha…?” I couldn´t even form a sentence…was this really…

“Now you don´t recognize me?” her voice had turned deep. “Do I need to take off my wig?”

“Se-even…is that really you?” my voice was breaking.

“God Seven, for you” he winked. “Nice to meet you Moon Chae”


	4. Chapter 3

“Seven!” I exclaimed. “It´s you!”

“Shh!” he placed his finger on his mouth. “We are in a library, remember?”

“Who cares?!” I said unable to control my voice. “I really can´t believe it, Seven! It´s really you!” I didn´t know what to do with myself. Part of me wanted to jump and hug him, and another one wanted to just run and called everyone! Yet, my lump of emotion was portraited in rapid tears and choking sobs. “Se-even, I-I” I said as I whipped the water of my face.

“Oh, please don´t cry anymore” he said leaning on the table. “Tears are my weakness!”

“It´s jus-st” I felt my whole body shaking as I tried to formulate a sentence. “We been so worried, we been looking all over for you”

“I´m sorry for making you worry” his voice seemed so carefree, like how I used to hear it through the phone.

“And you were here! So close to me! I almost didn´t realized!” I said as I felt my sobs turning into laughter.

“Moon” he sighed as he said my name. “Take a minute and breathe, please”

“Ye-eah” I said taking in some air and letting it go, then again, and again.

“Here” he handed me a tissue.

“Thanks” I said as I grabbed it and help myself with it.

“Feeling better?”

I took the hair out of my face. “Yeah, I-I am…so sorry about that.”

“It´s okay, Moon” he reassured me. “Kind of hurts the fact that I´ve made you worry this much”

“It´s okay” I brushed it off. “It´s not your fault”

He smiled at me again, but...for some reason it didn´t felt genuine. A silence started to cloud the room as he played with his hair.

“So…any questions?” he asked me.

“Uh? Oh! Yeah!” I snapped out not even realizing that I was staring. “Are you okay? How did you escape your father? Is your partner alright too? What are you doing here?”

“You talk so fast” He chuckled. “Yes, I´m okay, and he is too.” He laid his head on his hand. “He might even get happy that you asked for him”

I sighed as I heard his words. He was okay, and I could see that he was just in front of me! He was talking to me! I think I had never been so relieved in my life!

“And how did you escape?”

“Well, I think the day you streamed Zen to the whole country, yeah, I think that day is when they decided that they had to move us, and to make it short, I kicked their ass and ran away” he winked at me. “Like God Seven does!”

I couldn´t help but to giggle. I do not know if I missed his playfulness or if was all the joy I felt.

“Wait” I said interrupting myself. “Have you been able to contact V?”

“V?” his brows furred. “I haven´t even tried. Why?”

I sighed. “The night before the transmission, he came into the chatroom, and it almost felt like he was saying goodbye…” I looked down to the table “he was leaving the country again, and ever since we haven´t heard anything from him”

“That sounds like V to me, Moon” he reassured me. “I´m sure he´ll be back before you noticed.”

“Well, I´m telling you because…I think I know where he is” I confessed.

“You do?”

“Yeah…I think he went back to the place where I was” I played with my finger avoiding his eyes.

“About that…I wanted to ask you all about that. What happened there?”

I sigh. “It´s kind of a long story, but it was basically a cult…”

“A cult?!”

“Ye-eah” I said remembering the nights in the soft bed as screams eased me to sleep.

“And are you okay after that?” his question made my heart clenched. I guess it´s been easy to ignore the way that Mint Eye marked me… “I mean, by the end of that you were kind of being kept captive right?”

“Yeah, but…” I looked up to the yellow peaking through. “Saeran saved me from the worst part…he got me out of it”

“He did?” he asked softly and though it was hard to imagine what was going through his head, at least he seemed, relieved. “But…what was Saeran doing there in the first place?” I had a feeling that he didn´t wanted to know, but…he had to.

“He was part of it” I said resigned. “They were using him to control me and…” I didn´t know if I should tell him that…

“And?”

“And the other believers” This might not be the moment for the whole truth, or my place to even say that part to him.

“So, he was one of them” he said thoughtful looking down to the table. “But again, how did he end up there?”

“I-I ´m sorry. I really haven´t asked him much about it. He doesn´t like to remember those times”

“I figured”

Silence again.

“And hey, how is everyone?” The nostalgia in his words was evident.

I chuckled. “We are all good! Zen and the C&R got so much exposure for the news and Jumin hired Saeran as the head of the intelligence unit with Jahee. Yoonsung still plays lolol, he got very good at it. They all come over for dinner sometimes.”

“I´m glad to hear that everyone is doing well” There again I could see his eye squeezing and his smile tighten, and I wonder…why hasn´t called?

“Yeah, and I can´t imagine how happy they are going to be once I tell them that—"

“No” he said dryly. “You can´t tell them”

“What?!” I exclaimed. “Seven do you have any idea how much we been looking for you?”

He looked at me blankly. “I never asked you to look” his words went deep into my heart. How could he say that? Why couldn´t he just come with me? So all this could end!

“But we couldn´t just let you go like that! “I said back. How could he say that? Why couldn´t he just come with me? “We couldn´t live with the idea of you being dead!”

“Moon, you should have, and from now on that is what you should believe.”

“But, Se—”

“Look, the agency revamped me and my partner for our jobs and for our security. You might not know this, but my father wasn´t the only one who wanted to kill me. I really could make you a big list of only the people that I know of that want me dead. And ever since the transmission all those people now know my full name, my face and who I associated with. Information is easier to get than you realized, so all those people that want me might already know everything about you or any of the RFA members and if they see me close enough to you, well they won´t doubt to use you to get me.”

“Seven…at least…let me tell them…they need to—”

“No, Moon” he said again. “The least they know the better. I shouldn´t even had revealed myself to you.”

“Sae—”

“Look, just convince them to stop looking for me…that´ll be better for everyone”

“I can´t do that!”

“Well, you have to” he says as he stands up and walks towards the door. “Moon…” he whispered as he placed his hand on the handle. “please take care of him…for me”

“He still needs you, more than he needs me”

“I know” as he twisted the metal of the door, he turned to look at one last time “But believe me, this is that best I can do to keep him safe.”


	5. Chapter 4

As I went through the heavy metal door of our entrance, I could smell the aroma of freshly cooked rice and grilled spices. 

“Hey” he said softly as I could see him preparing the table. “Figured you were going to be late again, so I decided to cook dinner for us”

“Saeran…” his name faintly fell from my mouth. “I-I…” _don´t deserve you._

“Hmm?” he turned to look at me. “Is something wrong?”

“I-I´m fine” My I eyes went to the floor. I couldn´t look at him, not with this pit of guilt forming on my chest. “It´s nothing”

“Are you sure?” I heard his voice getting closer. I lifted my gaze only to find his white office shirt in front of me.

“Ye-eah” I placed my hand on the fabric of his shirt. Before I realized he had it already placed his on top of it. I look up only so see his soft teal eyes hidden between strands of red and white hair.

“Moon…you can tell me anything” he smiled so sweetly making my heart break a little more.

I nodded as the knot in my throat wouldn´t let me talk anymore. My vision blurred and the tears fell by themselves. “It´s okay” he whispered as he gently pushed me into his arms, letting me hide in his neck.

“Sae-eran” I could barely say.

“Shh…” he eased me. “I can tell you had a hard day, so…if you don´t want to talk about it, then lets don´t, but please” he paused, and I felt him hugging me tighter. “Please, let me be here for you”

_Saeran…don´t say that! I can´t do this! I can´t do this to you! Saeran…I love you so much!_

He petted my hair. “It´s going to be fine…whatever it is…I´ll help you through it…like you have with me”

_No! Don´t say that!_

I gripped to him harder. “Sa-aeran” _Please…One day forgive me. Please._

…

**MC has entered the chatroom**

**Saeran:**  
Zen  
Where did you get those fish breads you brought that one time?

 **Zen:**  
I got them from a food truck near my house.  
Why?  
O.o?

 **Saeran:**  
I wanted to get some.

 **Yoonsung:  
** Oh!  
Could you get me some too!

 **Saeran:**   
Sure.

 **Zen:**  
Hey, Saeran.  
You might want to hurry.  
It´s kind of late so he might be closing soon.

 **Saeran:  
** Mhh…  
You are right.  
Could you go check?

 **Zen:**  
Sure, I´ll be right back.

**Zen has left the chatroom.**

**Yoosung:**  
lol  
What´s with this sudden urge for fish bread Saeran?

 **Saeran:**  
Moon likes them.  
I think it´ll cheer her up.

 **Yoosung:**  
O.o?  
Is Moon okay?

 **MC:**  
Yeah, I´m fine.  
Thanks for worrying.

 **Saeran:**  
She had a bad day.

**Zen has entered the chatroom.**

**Zen:**   
Bad news :c  
They are closing soon.   
But I can buy some and you can pick them up.

 **Saeran:**  
Okay, I´ll be on my way.

 **MC:**  
Saeran, there is no need.  
I´m not hungry.

 **Zen:**  
O.o?   
Are you okay, MC?

 **MC:**  
*sighs*  
It´s embarrassing, but…  
I failed a test…

 **Zen:  
** You did?  
Oh, but it´s fine, Moon.   
A grade doesn´t define your worth.

 **Yoosung** :  
Yeah!  
And don´t worry, I´m sure you did your best!  
You can always fix your grade with the next evaluation!

 **Zen:**  
Exactly!  
Take advice from the expert.  
Yoosung saves the semester in the last week.

 **Yoosung:**  
Hey!  
Well you are right.  
And if I can do it, I´m sure you can to MC!

 **MC:**  
Thank you guys!

 **Zen:**  
Feeling better?

 **MC:**  
A little x3  
But please don´t worry about me.  
I´ll be fine

 **Yoosung:**  
Okay, but if there is anything you need help with…  
Tell us.

 **Zen:  
** Yeah, that times 2.

 **MC:**   
You guys are so sweet!  
Thank you.

 **Saeran:  
** Moon, where are you?

 **MC:**  
I´m on the balcony.  
Sorry I didn´t tell you.

 **Saeran:**  
It´s fine.  
Can I go out with you?

 **MC:**  
Sure.

**Saeran has left the chatroom.  
MC has left the chatroom. **

I hear the slid door open. “Hey” I turn to see him getting out still in his work cloths. “How are you feeling?” he asked me as he leaned on rail next to me.

“Better now” I said not feeling like I even believed them. “Sorry I over reacted, it´s just—”

“Don´t be” he interrupted me with a smile. “I think it makes sense”

I tilted my head. “It does?”

“Yeah…I mean…I don´t know if you realized how stress you look sometimes”

“Stress?” I question. “What do you mean?”

“You stay up all night studying, and working on your projects, and you help around the house, and talk to everyone all day. And you been like this since we left Mint Eye. Moon, I wonder if you were always like this…” He takes a strand of hair out of my face. “So hardworking and caring”

“Saeran, I-I”

“Moon, don´t try to justify it…I can see that you need to rest too…So, let me care for you…”

I sighed. The sweet boy I met a hundred and thirty-nine days ago was being sweeter than ever, yet he seemed in much more peace. I know he had something to still work through, but I guess he is doing better than I had realized. Maybe he was right…I just needed some time. To rest a little and start to process everything that had happen to me.

Those two weeks…changed everything, and it seems that ever since then, my life hasn´t stop changing. It felt that I had to keep running to catch up with everything, but if this has already surpassed me…than was it okay for me to take a break?

I couldn´t answered that question myself. He didn´t even let me think about it. He forced me to our room, to lay in our bed as we watched movies, and to slowly fall a sleep together.

I took a deep breath. Once again, I stared at the ceiling. It was way passed might night which meant that there had been a hundred and forty days since his disappearance and one since I found him.


	6. Chapter 5

It had been a long couple of nights, and you could tell by the darkness under my eyes. Saeran had been so attentive all weekend, but more than ever I just wanted him to stay way. The more I looked at his face, and those gentle green eyes…the more I felt I was betraying him. At least he didn´t ask anything, he let me cry on his shoulder as he hugged me.

This Monday had also felt heavy as I walked through the halls on my semi death state. At least it was over now, and he was picking me up, so for now maybe I should just look for a nice place to rest until he gets—

“Ms. Chae” I heard with that now unforgettable high tone. I turn to see him in smiling with pink lipstick and blush. Damn, did he had to be prettier than me? “How you been?”

I raised an eyebrow. “Fine, why you asked?”

“Well, I hated how things ended up since our last conversation” she started moving that same strand of hair out of his face. “And I wanted to see if we could make it up”

“Um…” why was I doubting? There was so much that I know we left unsaid. So much that we need to talk, yet I was preferring to walk away. “I don´t know if I have the time to”

“Oh, c´mon” he rolled his eyes with a smile. “Let´s just go sit down. Besides, you still own me a Ph.D. Pepper” he sang as he walked in front on me on his heels. Man, he even works them better than I can.

…

After finding a bending machine he took me straight to this bench that seemed to be forgotten by the world. Cold and old at the end of this outdoor hallway, there we sat as I noticed his disguise slipping a little. He leaned his for arm in the bench and spread his legs despite his skirt. He opened the can with one hand and gulped the drink.

“Ahhh!” he says as he lets go the can from his lips. “You don´t know how much I need this”

“Want mine?” I offered. “Don´t really like it much”

“Thank you, but I could never take the drink of another lady” his voice bouncing back to his usual.

I giggled, but mainly because I didn´t know what to say.

“Umm…don´t mind if I ask but…you didn´t tell them anything did you?”

“No” I said as I let the air escape from my lungs. “But I haven´t mention the stop looking for you …don´t know when I will either”

“Oh, don´t pressure yourself.” He reassured me. “Do it when the time comes, things might still be turbulent for a while.”

“Hmm…I guess they will” I commented looking down to my closed drink. “At least I won´t be at peace until V communicates again.”

“I guess you are right” he took another sip.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

“Sure”

“You are here for a mission, right?” He nods. “Does it have to do with Mr. Park?”

“That´s is classified” he says with a finger gun and a wink.

I chuckled. “I figured”

Again, silence filled our moment. He seemed so relax and though I tried to look like I was too, but in the inside my mind was twisting with guilt…with remorse.

“Um…can I be honest with you?”

“If you want to” He didn´t look at me. Maybe he knew what was coming.

“I-I am…so afraid to do this, Seven.” I hear myself as I grip harder to my can. “It´s only been a weekend and I already can´t take it…and I wonder how you and V had been able to do it so well…how could you look at them and smile”

I feel his hand on my back taking me out of my trance. “Hey, don´t be so hard on yourself, this is really not easy…you just hold in and do it…and it slowly becomes easier”

I turn to look at him, trying to find that hidden yellow in his eyes. “It does?” 

“I promise” he smiled. “Besides, this is a very heavy burden. Shouldn´t have given you my responsibility.”

“No, it´s fine Seven” I smiled hopeful. “You really have no idea how happy it made me to know that you are still alive”

He chuckled. “Woah, why are you so genuine?”

“Because it´s true!”

He laughed again and took another sip of his can. “You say that, but I have really just brought you more trouble”

“So what?” I replied louder than I intended to. “Yeah, its hard right now, Seven, but like you said! It gets easier right?”

He rolled his eyes. “It does, but you know what…at least for the rest of my semester I´m going to be here, so…if you need help with this” he paused for a second as he closed his legs and brought his hand to his lap. “Just look for me, Ms. Chae”

I giggled. “You are so scary!”

“Oh? Why you say that Ms. Chae?” he playfully complained. “You offend me”

“Pff…I guess you were right when you said you were a master of disguise”

“Of course I was! God Seven Zero Seven never lies!”

“He brings justice to the—” a familiar music interrupted me and as I lifted my phone, I saw his name. I looked at him, not knowing if it was okay for me to…

“Answer, its fine”

I nodded and press the screen to receive the call. “Saeran, you are on your way?”

“I´m actually here…Um…where are you?” I heard his confused voice.

“Oh, I´m so sorry, I thought you were going to take longer” I stood up as I talked “I´m with a friend right now, but I´ll be on my way”

“Well, I can meet you halfway…where should I see you?”

“Why don´t you wait for me in front of the little garden in the park? You can even have a look while you wait”

I could feel his smile forming in his face. “Okay, angel. I´ll see you there” he said before hanging up.

I turned to look at Seven who was still taking a sip from his drink. “Hey, I have to go, but you can come if—"”

“No, I´m fine like this”

“You sure?”

“Yes” he rolled his eyes. “Now go. You shouldn´t make him wait long”


	7. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you feel like the spacing is weird it´s becuz I had to write this mainly in Google Docs and tried to fix it, but like you can tell it didn´t work lol.
> 
> Still, hope you enjoy.

It´s day one hundred and eighty-five since he disappeared and day forty-six since I found him. I got to say, he lied. It does not get easier; you just get better. Better at smiling along, at reacting at fake leads, at rubbing their back and telling them it is going to be fine. I hate every moment of it. 

I really do not know how I do it. How I hold up. Because every time that Saeran looks at me with those kind eyes of his, with those rosy cheeks and messy hair… Every time I am so close to crying… So close to breaking. And all that I bring myself to do is hug him tight and hope…that the day he finds out…that he will forgive me. 

The only good thing about this is knowing he is fine, and I get to see him often around school. But, with the semester getting to an end…things will change again, and it´ll be like I never even found him. Maybe that´s why my Ph.D. Pepper taste so bittersweet today. 

"So, done with your finals?" he askes me as we sit on our now usual bench.

"Yeah" I say letting my body relax with my drink in hand. "They really don't have mercy on us" 

"More like you don't have mercy on yourself" he responded. "I saw the website you summitted to Mr. Park. That was way more than what he asked for, you know?" 

I sighed. "I know, but it felt uncomplete without all that" 

"Mhhh…" he complains with the same face that Saeran usually has. "Didn't you have six more subjects to take care of?" 

"Yup, and I did" I smile. "Now I just have to wait for my grades" 

"Well, you didn't hear it from me" he looks at both sides, making sure no one is close to hear "but you are going to be the best of the class on Mr. Parks list" he winks.

"Really?!"

"I was actually thinking of helping you out in that aspect since the beginning, but you didn't need it" 

"Pfff...you did help" 

"Nop, it was all you" 

"Well, either way thank you" 

“Don´t know what I did, but you are welcome" 

“Cheers to that” I said and lifted my can up.

“Cheers!” We clanked our cans on the air and had a drink at the same time.

I felt my face twist a little with the cherry medicine flavor that it had. I could never get used to it. Not even when he had made me drink a can with him every time.

“Hey, I wanted to ask you” I started, knowing exactly what his answer will be, but it didn´t hurt to try right? “We are having this sort of dinner in a couple of days and I wanted to—"

"No" he answered coldly.

“You didn´t let me finish”

"No need to” he said without looking at me “The answer is no" 

“Mhh…” I silently complained. "You should still consider it”

"Don't make it harder, Moon.” He turns to give me a fake grin with extra squeezed lips “You know I can't" 

"You know, they won´t even noticed it´s you" I took a sip. “You did a very good job of fooling me”

“But I didn´t, because you still found out”

“Don´t be like that” I complained. “You weren´t trying because you didn´t know it was me.”

“Well, for my boss that just means I wasn´t doing a good job” he said throwing some of his hair behind his back. “So, let me do it right, okay? Or you´ll get us both in trouble”

“Mhh…okay” I finally gave in. “But you are invited, no the less”

He chuckled. “Thanks”

Silence had become a usual thing during our conversation, but with time it had stopped bothering me. I enjoyed the little window to breathe between our (even though we try to hide it) heavy talks. Hearing the winds blow the few leaves on the trees, the far away laughs of students, and the beeping of the bending machine being used. It made it all feel so peaceful, and in days like this, it filled me with the courage to ask what I need to.

“Um…Seven” I said breaking the quiet.

“Hmm?”

“I was wondering…” I paused. Almost don´t want to know the answer. “if you will be here next semester”

He let out a sigh as he straightens his posture. “I wish that I could tell you, but to be honest I don´t even know.”

I felt air coming into my lungs. At least he didn´t know, at least there is still a chance. “That´s okay” I responded. “But, if you can, please tell me”

I saw his eyebrows fur as looked at me. “Moon, I don´t think I can…but” he turned to the side to get his purse and from it he grabbed a little notepad. Ripped a page and handed it to me. “Here, for you” he said.

I took the piece of paper only to see a series of number and little dude drawn under it. “Is this—?”

“Yes” he responded. “But it´s only for emergencies, okay?”

“For emergencies?” I asked sarcastically. “Well, what does it classify like and emergency to you?”

“Emergencies, Moon” he didn´t played along.

“Would saving the world from injustice count as an emergency?” I tilt my head slightly. “Because I think in that case, I would need a type of God to help me”

He chuckled as he stood up. “You´ll know what type of emergencies, Moon”

I brought my hand to my chin in a wondering matter. “So, injustice doesn´t count as an emergency?”

“Pfff…” he mouthed as he rolled his eyes. “I´ll see you around, Moon”

…

**Yoosung:  
** T^T Please someone kill me T^T

 **Zen:**  
lol why? 

**Yoosung:**   
I just came out of my last exam and   
Ugh! I can feel it! 

**Zen:**   
Hey, don't lose your spirit! 

**MC:**  
Yeah, I'm sure you did better than you think :3

**Yoosung:**  
Thanks guys T^T   
I hope you are right

**Jaehee:**

Yoosung, can I recommend that you study more?   
It helps you feel more confident in evaluations

**Zen:**

lol   
Im sure it helps more than the confidence. 

**Yoosung:**   
Don t be mean right now!   
Im sensitive T^T

 **Jaehee:**   
Changing the subject.   
How were your evaluations, Moon? 

**MC:**  
Oh! Thank you for asking Jaehee <3

Well, I dont know my grades yet, but…  
A friend of my told me that I did best in the class >///<

At least on my software design class

**Jaehee:**   
Really? Congrats! <3

 **Zen:**   
See! Told you would do great!  
You should learn something from her, Yoosung 

**Yoonsung:**   
T^T 

**Jumin has entered the chat**

**Jumin:**   
My congratulations, Moon. 

Just as expected from your part :3

**MC:**  
Mr. Han you flatter me >///<

**Jumin:**   
And for a change I agree with Zen. 

You should get your grades up if you expect to work for me, Yoosung. 

**Yoosung:** Hey!   
Lets stop talking about grades now!   
We are officially on break now! 

**Zen:**   
Pfff any ideas of how you are going to spend your break? 

**Yoosung:**   
Of course! 

**V has joined the chatroom.**

**Yoosung:**

Playing lolol!! 

**MC:**  
OMG

**Zen:**   
V!!! U are back! 

“Saeran” I whisper to the softly wake sleeping prince resting on my lap.

“Mhh…” he grumbles and looks up at me. “What is it?”

“Um…you might want to get into the chatroom” I whisper. “because V is back”

**Jumin:**   
V, it´s been a while. 

Where you been? 

**Saeran has joined the chatroom.**

**Saeran:**   
V? 

**V:** You are all here!  
Kind if feels like a welcome party. 

**Jaehee:**   
That´s a coincidence  
but a pleasant one none the less.

 **Yoosung:**  
Where you been?!   
Why haven´t you answer anyones calls?! 

**V:**

Um...well...sorry I did not tell you where I was going. 

But with all the information of the prime mister released I had to go into hiding.  
I case he knew I was the one who collected it. 

**Jumin:**   
You could had been under my protection.   
Like all of us have been. 

**V:**   
I really didn´t want to bother Jumin.   
Besides, it was better than no one knew about it.   
In case they investigated again.

Also, it may sound weird, but it felt liberating… 

**Jaehee:**   
liberating? How so? 

**V:**

Well, it´s been a while since I´ve had time to relax.  
I feel like in this past six months I´ve gained some perspective on how to be happy. 

I look up from y screen to cross eyes with Saeran. “This might just be me, but…doesn´t he sounds weird to you?”

"He does…" 

As I saw his username in my screen my mind blurred with questions. But was it the right time to ask them? “Saeran…do you think that—?”

“Yes” he didn´t let me finish “But make it subtle”

**MC:**

It's good to see that you are better, V <3

**Zen:**

Yeah, glad to finally hear from you. 

**Yoosung:**   
Same here, but… V

Where exactly where you? 

_Yoosung I have never been happier of your suspiciousness towards V_! 

**V** :

I rented a cabin in the mountains, so I was out on the countryside. 

“You don´t think he was…?” I asked out loud.

“I couldn´t tell you now” he responded “I need to hear more about the location" 

_Say no more baby._

**MC:**

The countryside?

That's Beautiful V.  
Did you took pictures while you were there?? 

**V:**   
Um… Not really, only a few shots.  
I wanted to relax so I tried not to pressure myself   
Sorry.

 **Jaehee:**  
Dont worry, V.   
The shots you did take must have wonderful. 

**V:**

Thanks Jaehee

“Mhhh… I'm going to ask him” I heard him and before I could answer I saw the message pop up on my screen.

**Saeran:**   
Have you heard anything from Saeyoung? 

**Jumin:**   
Just what I was about to ask. 

**V:**   
Unfortunately, no. I haven´t.  
Have you been able to get a lead from him?

 **Zen:**   
*sighs* Not really. 

**Yoosung** :   
Yeah, we went to his old house.  
Before it was burned, but we didn't find anything. 

**Saeran:**   
I been looking for any trace of his hacking, but I´ve found nothing. 

**V:**   
I´m sorry to hear that.  
but I´m sure he is okay.   
He told me about times that he had it way worst and still gotten out fine. 

**Jaehee:**   
I hope that´s the case. 

**Zen:**   
Yeah, will find him soon. 

The chatroom went silent and I wonder if…I should say something. Like Saeyoung said...the longer they wait the longer I will take them to…ugh...they are going to hate me, but maybe it's the right thing. 

But as I start typing, a message from V comes true. 

**V:**

I also wanted to know.

If you guys think it's a good idea to finally have the postponed party. 

**Yoosung:**

The party? Now? 

**V:**

Yes. 

**Jumin:**

V, as your friend I must ask you to take it easy.

You just came back.

And we are still missing one of our members. 

**V:**

That´s the reason I want to have the party. 

**Jaehee:**

O.o?

Could you explain pls

 **V:**   
Of course, Jaehee.  
It´s been six months since we released that information to the public and the impacts were huge.   
We were able to effectively take down the Prime Minister.   
But there is still reminiscent of him on the government and of course Luciel is still missing. 

**Zen:**   
We had a lot of victories, but without him it isn´t the same. 

**V:**   
Exactly. And with the time passing people have stopped talking about it. 

**Jaehee** :   
So, what you are saying is… 

**Jumin** :   
That we should use the fame we gained to get back at the media with a party. 

**V:**   
Exactly. We can make it in his honor.   
So that way people will hear his name again. 

**Yoosung:**  
Woah. Hadn´t thought of it that way. 

**Zen:**  
Yeah, sounds like a good idea! 

**V:  
** It's just a thought, but I'm glad you like it. 

**Jaehee:  
** They are right.   
It´s a very good strategy to make everyone remember. 

**Jumin:**   
Didn´t expect anything less from you V. 

:3

 **V:**   
Thank you both of you.   
Saeran, Moon, what do you think? 

**Saeran:**  
It's fine by me. 

Even through the screen, I could feel all their eyes on me. That now familiar sense of guilt grew on me as typed my answer.

**MC** :

Sure, V.  
Just tell me we to contact the guests.  
;3

**V:** Glad to hear that.   
I was thinking that you could start soon. 

**MC:**  
?? 

**Jumin:**   
You already have a date in mind?? 

**V:**   
Yes. I was thinking to have a sort of Christmas ball.

 **Zen:**   
lol that suits him. 

**Yoosung** :   
Ikr? 

**Jaehee:**   
Would it be held on Christmas Eve? 

**V:** Ideally yes. 

**MC:**   
Isn´t that in less than a month?

**V:**   
yes. 

**Jumin:**   
Mhhh… It's kind of soon.  
Will start with the preparations tomorrow.

**MC:**   
Same here.   
I email the guest as soon as possible. 

**Jaehee:**   
*sighs* Please dont get me wrong V. Thats a happy sigh. 

**V:**   
Its fine Jaehee.   
Sorry to place more pressure upon you.   
And sorry to be missing so long. 

**Zen:**   
Don´t apologize, V.   
It´s understandable. 

As I let the chat go by on its own, I look up at Saeran. "Do you think that we can trust him?" 

"I'm not sure" he responded as he places his phone down "Isn´t the party thing a little too rush?" 

"Yeah, but that´s not uncommon from his part.” I said as I remember what was going to be my first party. I might had been small, but still, I only had ten days to crowd a good amount of guest. For my luck, this time I would have at least a month. But it seems his plans might be greater this time.

“Maybe we should still give him a call” I suggested.

…

I hear the phone ringing from the other line as I look at the deep blue sky from the balcony. Nothing was for sure yet, but now that V was back maybe…he could help me handle Saeyoung.

"Hello?" I hear his voice from the other line. 

"V? How are you?" 

He chuckled. "I´m fine, Moon. How are you?" 

"I´m fine too" I responded leaving a couple of seconds of silence behind. “Um…I just wanted to ask where you been.” I smiled hoping he would be able to tell from the other side. “I don´t want to make you feel bad, but you really had us worried”

“Oh, I´m sorry to hear that” his tone refreshed my memory to that time that his calls were what I was waiting for during the day. “but you shouldn’t have too… You could say I was out on vacations" he chuckled again bringing my mind back to the conversation.

"Yeah, I suppose…” I mutter. “But, um…were exactly where you?”

"Didn´t I say it on the chat? I went to the mountains" 

“Yeah” I said with a sigh. “You mentioned that but…you didn´t go to that mountain, right?”

"Of course, not" he said as he laughs? That was kind of...out of character to say the least? "Why would I go there?" 

"I-I am not sure" I responded nervous. Has my paranoia really been taking over me? "I guess I´ve just been anxious because of that…Sorry" 

"Don´t apologize, Moon" he said with a cheerful tone. “It´s kind of nice to hear. Still…. don´t worry too much. I can handle it.”

“I´ll try to” I say with a sigh. “Hey-“ I started as I remember the real reason for my call. “I also wanted to know if—” before I could finish, I feel something falling onto my back covering me. I turn to see Saeran who was finishing placing his jacket over me. I smile at him. 

“Moon? Were you going to say something?”

“Uh? Yes!” his voice brings me back to the call “Um…I'm glad you are back”

“Me too” he responded with what I was sure was a smile “I'll talk to you later” he hanged up.

I look at him from my side only to find his head resting on my shoulder. “So?” 

"Well, he sounded…very happy” I said, but happy wasn´t the right word. He might have sound like V. Sympathetic and dodgy, but the way he laughs, the easygoing attitude. Was that really V? The same one who had so many worries eating him alive? I would understand if things were over, but behind the curtain we know they aren´t. And the lack of answers just raises my suspicious.

“But something is off, right?” all my thoughts could be summarized to that single question, and this answer.

“Yes” I responded. “He was…just so happy”

“Hmm...at least I´m glad I´m not the only one who noticed.” He said still in my shoulder. “V is way more patient. He used to take his time with everything." 

"And now he is back and wants to have the party as soon as possible."

"Yeah, I find it odd. Even with his reasoning" 

“Well he wanted the last party to be ready in a week” I commented trying to reassure both of us. "So, let´s hope it´s nothing" 

“Hm…” 

“Will see him in a couple of days and then will really know. So, let´s wait okay?" 

“Mhhh…” and there it was again.

“Come here” I said as I turned around and opened my arms to let his chin fit perfectly in my neck as our arms intertwined on each other’s backs. "Everything is going to be fine" 

“I know” He says as his head leaves it´s place to face me "And are you?" 

“Me?” I unconsciously said. “What about me?”

“You just…” he as his eyes moved around the room, I knew he was looking for his words. "You seem so tired sometimes" 

“That´s because of school”

“You also been saying sorry about everything”

"No, I haven't" I chuckled. 

“You just did, with V.” he said as he parted away too looked at me with blank stare. “And the other day you bumped into a chair and apologize to it" 

"Um…I thought it was you" 

“Hmm…?” he raised his eyebrow in a sarcastic manner.

"Okay, okay” I finally said giggling. “I won´t say it as often. I promise."

“Only when you need to”

“Only when I need to” I say as I leaned on his lips. "I love you" 

“I love you too”


	8. Chapter 7

Day one hundred and eighty-six since he disappeared, forty-seven since I found him and first day of winter break.

It was nice for a change to wake up on bed and not having to run to the shower. To be able to sleep into his aroma. To lazily wake to the kitchen and find that he left me some eggs for me. He shouldn´t have, but I love them anyway. 

And as I wash the dishes, I feel my mind drifting away. V did seem more cheerful than normal and makes me wonder if he was always like that? I did cross paths with him when he was carrying so many burdens on his back…and for now most of them are gone, but…And what´s up with not wanting to tell us where he´s been? The mountains are just too vague of an answer…

Should I? No! He said it is only for emergencies…but it would be good to see if he can find something else, maybe something we missed…yeah. Also, what if he really did go back to Mint Eye. Would he have gone through the cleansing? Is that why he felt so…ecstatic?

Ugh! Now that I thought about it, I need to know. I just hope he doesn't get mad. 

I pick up my phone and with wet hands I look for the 'Emergency' Contact. Probably shouldn't have saved him like that, but…I think I've already lost the note he gave me. 

Not even a single ring when. "Didn't I tell you that this number was for emergencies?" I heard him whisper in an angry tone. 

I sigh. He was pissed. "I know, but this is an emergency" 

"Really?” he question on the other side of the line. “What is it?" 

"V is back--" 

"So? Didn't I tell you what to do if that happened?" 

"Yeah, but Seven, he is different" 

A bit of silence “Different how?" 

"He is…well...” I struggle to find the words. I had seen a lot of people who were under the elixir and the effects tended to be different. But something I know it that it sure made them “happy”, just in a very unnatural way. There isn´t a change in their vpice only on their tone, and they are kind of more…passive aggressive? But, it was hard to explain. So that´s what I said: “It´s kind of hard to explain”.

"Moon" I hear the frustration in the way he said my name. "I don't have time for this now. Let's meet up this afternoon" 

"Meet up?” I asked a little surprised. I mean I was glad, just didn´t expect it. “Where?" 

"Wherever you want.” His tone sounded a little panicked. “Just text me the details. I'll be there" Before I could ask anything, he "Bye" he hanged up.

…

As I turned the hair dryer off, I began to hear some steps on the hallway. I put the air pistol down walked to the door and open it to… 

"There you are" I said with a smile. "I didn't know you were going to be here this early" 

"I wasn't” he explained coming in the room “but I asked Jaehee to help me sneak out" 

I chuckled as I lean into the door frame. "Why so?" 

He reached for my hand. "So we can have lunch together" 

"Oh" I mouthed in surprise. 

"Um…did you have plans?" he asked a little embarrassed. 

"Well…" how should I phrase it. "I was going to buy some stuff on the mall for Friday…And also meet up with a friend for coffee."

"Oh, okay"

His disappointment broke my heart. He was going to kill me but…

"Why don't you come?" 

He immediately lifted his head and I could see his eyes glitter like a kid's. "Really?" 

"Yeah” I said with a nod. "I don't think he--I mean she´ll mind”

…

**Emergency:**

Where r u?? 

R u coming late?? 

**MC:**  
I'm here. Where are u? 

**Emergency** :

Im at the bench near the fountain. 

I look up to see his iconic set of black hair hiding his face as he stared to his phone. 

**MC:**

You been spotted. 

"By the fountain" I told him as I slightly pull his hand so he would follow me. He quietly nod before walking along.

"Do you think she's been waiting for long?"

"I hope not."

_When he sees you, that is going be the least of his worries._

"Hey” I say as I wave with my free hand-

"Geez, Moon, what took you so long?" he says as he stares into his pocket mirror applying his lipstick. "Do you even--" he lets the lipstick slide through his face as he turns pale looking at Saeran. 

I choke on my own laughter.

"Um-m, sorryy" he manages to say. "I thought that it was only Moom" 

"It's okay"

"Yeah, sorry to not tell you" I apologize with a hard to contain smile. "This is my boyfriend Saeran, and Saeran this is Ms. Lee, the intern I´m always talking about" 

"A pleasure to meet you" Saeran says politely. Yet, in the little pressure he puts in my hand, I can feel his anxiety of meeting someone new.

"Yo-ou too" he stutters still staring at him. 

…And with that a silence started to form. 

"So...I think Ms. Lee and I should go to the ladies room, is that okay?" 

"Yeah” he mutters with a sigh. “I'll be at bookstore, or maybe the garden shop" 

"Okay, baby" I kiss his cheek and let his hand go "I'll see you later" 

He waved goodbye and went on his way. 

As soon as he was out of sight, he turned to me and stood up. "Moon, why did you bring him?!" Now I could really tell how much height those heels added. 

"Hey, I told him not to come, but he insisted." 

"So?!" 

"I couldn't say no" I say remembering those glittering puppy eyes he gives me. How can I say no. "Besides, he is staying away, and what I'm going to tell you won't take long." 

"Ugh! Fine" he finally agreed in a loud complain. "But don't do that again, Moon" 

"I won't, I promise" I say only half meaning it. It kind of made me happy to see them both together, and as long as he didn´t know there was no harm, right?

"Now let's go" I command as I start to walk past the fountain.

"Hmm…" I hear him behind me. “Guess you are learning something about being under cover, huh?”

…

"So, V is back?" he says as he leans on the wall of the empty parking lot. "Why is that an emergency?" 

It took us a while to get here. There were lots of stairs we didn´t enjoy and eyes on us that we tried to avoid. We needed a deserted place, one with zero camaras around that could get a glimpse of his face. Finally, we got to the last level of parking and in a little corner we were hiding from the world.

"Well…” I started not sure of where to begin. “It has to do with a lot with the place that we think he was" 

“That place…” he crossed his arms over his office coat “Is it the cult that you mention?"

I nod.

"But...if V knows how bad it is why would he go back there?” his hand goes up to frame his chin in thought. “Was he trying to dismantle it?”

“At first, when I was there it, it really seemed he was” I look away remembering those long night at Magenta and how V was truly my last hope. “I haven´t seen him since, but…he gives me a different aura…It even seems that he is on their side now” 

He stood quite for a bit, and I could only guess that he was questioning my words. "Why is that?" 

I sigh at the thought of having to explain the overgrowing puzzles in my head. It was hard for me to even comprehend them sometimes, and the fact that I´ve never told anyone isn´t of much help either.

"Well…I got to know their leader and I wasn't sure at first, but then V confirmed me that…" I paused for a moment. 

"V confirmed what?" 

I turned and looked at him, looking for his eyes between the bangs that cover them. In them I could tell he already knew the answer, only waiting for me to confirm his horrible suspicious.

"It was Rika" those words were heavier than I could have guess, only making my muscle tighter than they already were.

Silence invade again, and I was ready to calm him down, to give him a minute and talk this with him. Instead…

"Mhh…So she is alive?" he asked keeping his focus on the ground.

"Yeah?" the concern was undeniable. "Aren't you surprised?" 

"I am” he answered “but I can't focus on that now. This is about V, right?" 

"Yeahh…" How? How is he so good and handling his emotions? I didn't even know Rika, and I remember laying in the bed with shook, trying to make sense of it. 

"Well, now it makes sense why her death was so…odd" 

"Yeah…and apparently most of his trips were to infiltrate the cult" 

"So, he might have infiltrated again?" 

“I don't know" I confessed. "The last thing I know, is that they were aware of him" 

"So, do you think he went directly to Rika this time?" 

I nod. “And she also might have cleansed him”

"Cleansed him?" the surprised way in that he said it…

"Yeah” I mutter as remember the cold night that I was going to be offered the liquid. “It´s a ritual where they give you this drug that they call ´elixir´. When you drink it makes you…” those screams and grows in pain of the believers came back to me. Those silent begs that Saeran would give me through the phone. All that suffering just to “…completely summit to her”

His expression had completely changed. Now he looked at me with the saddest and most worried eyes I ever seen. "Wait, don't tell me…"

They tone of his question made me breakdown right there. I couldn´t believe how I wasn´t able to do a better job. How I had to see Ray being hurt, and Saeran yell. How much pian they had to go through and now I was telling his brother how I just stood there and watched.

I nodded and look away, hoping that if bite my lip hard enough I might not cry. 

"Rika did that to Saeran?! To you?!" 

"Saeran didn't let her touch me, but…for what I know she had him tamed down, and if he…" I felt my lip tremble. "If…if he hadn't been strong enough, he wouldn't have been able to get out of there" More memories came down on me. How those las few days at Magenta he was battling himself so hard. Battling for the control that was taken away from him.

I took a deep breath trying to not let my emotions explode in my face. “But…he is safe now and we are taking things easy, so he can be okay" 

"I-I can't believe-!” his arms flew down until the back of his fist hit the was behind him. “She did that to him?!" 

"Seven-" 

"And she might have done it to V too?!" 

I nod.

This wasn´t the calm Saeyoung from some moments ago.

"How are you so sure?!" 

He was erratic, and in his whole body you could see the anger and fear of his love one’s suffering. I knew exactly how he felt. I have all those emotions inside me for a hundred and eighty-six days.

"It has certain effects, but mostly it tricks you to think that you are happy” I paused. “Happy because _she saved you_.”

He was quite before he brought up another question. "Did he mention anything about this place?" 

“No. Only said he went to ´the mountains´” I add a pair of air quotes.

"Didn't you check his IP?" 

"We tried, but his phone was off for the past six months.” I say with a bit shrug. “The last reported location was his house" 

"Mhh…”

"He came back yesterday asking us to hold a party…and” I start remembering why I asked him to meet up in the first place. “This isn't the best moment to tell you this, but…it's for you" 

His face turned to me, his eyes open and his cheeks a little red. "For me?" 

"Yeah” I smiled a little to his disbelief. “It's to raise awareness that you are still missing”

"And you are letting them do that?" 

"Why do you think I´m here?” I tried to make my sarcasm sound mean, yet I can help but think that I failed. "I'm not letting them, but there is another reason of why." 

He raised an eyebrow. "There is more?" 

I nod. "When I was there, I was in charge of organizing the party of the RFA so she could…recruit the members" 

"The whole R.F.A.? But why?" 

"So she can make them _happy._ ”

"Man" he says with a heavy sigh. "That doesn't sound like the Rika I used to know, she was definitely kind and giving, but…she would never gone to that extent."

It took me a moment to know what to say…”For what you guys told me about her…I never thought she would be capable of something like this”

"Thi-is is” A little fidgeting in his voice “…a bit much to process" 

"Ugh…I know…” My loud complain echoing through this manmade cave. “Now I have to think of a way to confront V about, but if you help taking a look-"

"Didn't you say that Saeran found nothing?" 

"Yeah" I confessed. "But I was thinking that maybe you could take a look too" 

He rolled his eyes. "If he found nothing then I don't think I'll be any help.” I was about to say something when—“But I'll see what I can do" 

"Thanks, Sev--" A whistle took our attention to a group of guys walking towards one. One of them flash his smile at us, and with that I knew exactly what their intentions were. “Um…I think we should go."

"What are two beautiful ladies like you doing here?" One of them said as they got nearer.

My instincts kicked in and I went to reach for his wrist ready to leave only of him to—

"NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMN BUSSNESS" he yelled as he changed his voice and his postured.

"Oh shit!" the other man exclaimed. "You are a dude?!" 

"YEAH I'M A DUDE!" his hand quickly travel to the end of his skirt. "WANNA SEE MY DICK?!"

"Tks…what a freak" the last one muttered as they turned and left. 

Seven turned to me with a twirl. "And that´s how you deal with bastards"

I stood impress for a couple of nanoseconds before I burst into laughter. "Oh my god!" I say as I catch my breath. "I can't believe you just did that" 

"To be honest me neither" he giggled back. "They were big!" 

…

We made our way to the inside of the mall, and by the fountain there it was Saeran waiting for us.

“Hey, sweetie” I say as I grab his hand and plant a cheek on his waiting chin. “Did you buy anything?”

“Not really” he said with a little flush. “I wanted your opinion on some of the stuff I saw”

Butterflies flutter on my stomach. Why did he have to be so cute?

“You should go see them” Seven says as he smiles at us. “or it will get late”

“Yeah” I say somewhat sad. Sometimes I feel like if I´m not with him, it´s like I never found him. “I´ll see you around?”

“Hopefully” he squeezes a smile.

”Um…Miss Lee” he started interrupting our silence. “We are having a Christmas dinner this Friday, and…we would to have—“|

“Saeran, I don´t know if Miss Lee is free this—”

“I´ll go.”

My head turned in surprise. “You´ll go?”

He chuckles. “I´ll see you Friday”


	9. Chapter 8

It had been a hectic Friday of running around cleaning and cooking for dinner. As ironic as it is, I´m not the best party planner, not even with the small gathering like this. They only fuel my anxiety and need for everything to be perfect. But with Saeran by my side to keep me in check, I was able to enjoy the process and not let the little things get in my head.

We had prepared the main dich, Bulgogi, and each one of the members were bringing their own. Jaehee made sweet potato noodles, Jumin brought some sort of fancy wine, Yoosung and Zen came together with Kimichi and sugar candy for everyone. With all of them on the table, it really was starting to feel like Christmas, even it wasn´t.

A sudden knock interrupted the growing conversation.

Jaehee looked around. “Aren´t we all here?”

“Well, besides V, yes we are” Zen said as he took a sip of his can.

Yoosung discreetly rolled his eyes. “Did he say he was coming?”

“He didn´t mention anything to me” Jumin answered.

“Oh, then it´s probably a friend of mine that I invited” I say as I start to stand up.

“I´ll get it” Saeran said as he placed a hand on my shoulder.

I softly smile at him. “Thank you”

“You invited a friend over?” Yoosung said peaking next to me.

“Yeah” I took a sip from my glass. “I think you´ll like her. She—”

“She?” Zen asked with a smirk already on his face.

I couldn´t hold in a chuckle. “Yes, she”

Before we could continue talking Saeran walked in with “Miss Lee” next to him. I never knew how he managed to be so pretty. His long hair shining like silk, framing his face and body to red a-skirt dress that popped over some black stocking and heals. With his cheeks a little flush, could tell that I wasn´t the only one who had his eyes on him.

“This is…” Saeran started and in his face, I saw the panic of not knowing his name.

“Byeol” he answered. “A pleasure to meet you”

“Take a sit” I say as stand up for his plate.

The fact that the only empty chair was next to Zen was only a coincidence. But I knew he didn´t mind. In fact, he seemed to be all about it.

Dinner went smoothly with the subject of conversation jumping around like it usually did on the chatrooms. Hopefully, the fact that we were trying to avoid any questions about him wasn´t obvious. But besides his uncharacteristic silence, he seemed to be enjoying himself. He smiled when Jaehee went on about a Christmas musical, he laughed when Jumin a Zen started to biker, and even teased Yoosung a little with apparent mysterious kicks under the table.

With the dynamic we had the night went by fast, and before we noticed we were all in the living room enjoying some of Saeran´s Christmas cake.

“Ugh!” Yoosung complained from the corner of the couch. “It was delicious”

“Thank you” I said on behalf of Saeran. “We are glad you liked it.”

“And we are glad you invited us, Moon” Jaehee added.

“I agree with Assistant Kang” Jumin started. “It was a lovely evening”

I wished they stopped with the complements. Because I can only feel how my face

will begin to blush.

“Well…why don`t we do presents now?” I ask trying to avoid any more of their kind words.

“You have presents?” Yoosung asked with sudden excitement.

“You should have told us, Moon” Zen complained with a little pout. “We could have gotten you guys something too”

“Well, Saeran wanted it to be a surprise, so…”

“Oh, it was your idea Saeran?” Jaehee asked.

“Yes…” he answered softly. He turned his eyes from everyone, disliking all the attention he was getting. “It´s a sort of thank you for all you have done for both of us”

Everyone´s expression soften forming a silence in the room as they appreciated the gesture. They really didn´t see this side of him often. Maybe the thought was worth more than what we got them.

“I`ll just go for them” he awkwardly stood up and left the room, escaping momentarily of the situation

Even if he tried to hide it, he was exited for them to open it. I remember how we went shopping and how he kept asking questions about each member. “Do you think its big enough?” “Is this a little to practical?” “Um…is this to cheap for him?” It was just sweet seeing him so thoughtful…Made me love him even more.

He soon came back with a little pile of boxes. Yoosung stood up and helped him with them. He always tries to help in what he can, but part of me just told me that he wanted to find his first.

As each one of them received it, they opened it. Zen found the box full of his favorite line of face products, Jaehee a pair of French-Press coffee cups, Jumin a handmade especial blue cat collar for Elizabeth, and Yoosung a card of electronic points for Lolol. I could tell in Saeran´s eyes how pleased he seemed in himself. It was lovely seeing him discover how beautiful it is to make someone else happy.

“For you” he said as he handed the last box to Seven.

“For me?” he asked in his girly voice that I could never get use to.

“Yes” he nodded. “Moon said you´ve help her so much in school, so…we wanted to get you something”

He looked at me and silently cursed me. I shrugged, as it truly hadn´t been my idea.

“Thank you” he said as he hesitantly took it. “Um…should I open it?”

“Yes!” Yoosung loud with excitement. “That´s what gifts are for”

He was a good actor, never breaking character, not even to rip a gift box apart. Zen would love to learn a thing or two from him. He got rid of the shimmering red wrapper, broke the box´s tape, and finally pulled up his present. “Oh my God”

“What?” Yoosung seem like a little kid as he peaked unproperly to see what he got. “What is it?”

“It´s a Ph. Pepper hoddie” I answered him and as I did, he turned it around for everyone to see.

“How did you get one of those?” Jaehee ask. “I thought they would only give those out to associates of the company.

“I hacked into their shipping system” Saeran explained with a little proud smile.

“Um…why Ph. Pepper though?”

“She only accepts Ph. Pepper as payment for tutoring me”

He chuckled. “That’s kind of cute”

“I never thought that Ph. Pepper could be use as currency” Jumin commented. “What´s your meaning behind it?”

“Umm…” he stuttered as he folded the fabric. “I just really like Ph. Pepper”

“Uh…” Yoosung´s thoughts escape before he could realize it. “I have a friend who—” before he received kick from Zen, before he could ruin the mood. “Hey!”

Before anything else could be said, Jaehee sighed. “We should get going”

“Indeed. Driver Kim should be already waiting outside” Jumin added. “Would you want us to take you home, Byeol”

“No, it´s fine” he answered immediately. “I´ll stay and help clean up.”

“Then I´ll do too” Zen smiled at him. “And I can take you home when we are done”

“But didn´t you say you would take me?” Yoosung asked, not getting any of Zen´s signals.

“Yes, I actually remember reading that in the chat” Smooth Jaehee.

“Maybe next time?” Seven politely smiled at him, but in his eyes, I could see how he was holding in his laughter.

“Next time, then” he winked as he stood up. I hold in a giggle. Sometimes he could be so shamelessly flirty.

They all said their respective goodbyes that were mixed hugs, and smiles. And as they all left, I could only think of how lovely it had been my hundred and eighty-eight day since he disappeared and forty-nine since I found him.


	10. Chapter 9

As soon as they left, Saeran fell into the couch. He couldn´t hide how socializing always drained him, as this is the result of whenever he had to spend hours around people. I didn´t have to tell him twice to go to bed, before he stood up and kissed me good night.

Now, Seven and I had the floor for our own. I expected him to scold me, to repeat me how he shouldn´t be this close to us. But instead. “Moon…” he hugged me. “Thank you”

“You…aren´t mad?”

“A little” he chuckles. “but I can´t deny that I loved it”

“Well…You shouldn´t thank me” I say as we part away. “It was really all his idea”

His eyes quickly turned glossy “Really?” the cheer happiness in his voice made my heart flutter. It felt so nice to see him loose up, to come back to where he belongs, even if they don´t know.

“Yes” I said with a nod. “He is really that sweet”

“Yeah…” he paused for a second, and his eyes trailed around the room. “I´m glad to know he still is”

I couldn´t help but wonder “Seven…” before I could think about it, my words were already falling off from my lips. “How he was as a kid?”

He went silent for a second, and I felt the guilt sit in. I knew how it was. He told me about his mom´s habits. How cruel she could be. And even knowing that I asked. How selfish of me to make him relive his past! How stupid can I truly be?!

“He was so kind” his eyes looking distantly at the window. “Too kind for his own good…” he paused again. “He used to catch the spiders on the house so my mom wouldn´t kill them”

A small giggle left my body “He still those”.

“And you would think he actually changed a bit, huh?” he chuckled. “Oh! And you should had seen him the first time I brought him ice-cream! He was so weirded out by it, but he loved it. Is his favorite still is—”

“Blue berry lime?”

“Yes!” he shouted. “Man, he truly hasn´t change at all”

“It´s kind of cute” I say and unknowingly I turn to see what is left of his cake. “Do you want some before I put it away?”

“You read my mine” he smiled at me as I stood up to go for another pair of plates. “You don´t mind if I take out the wig, do you?”

“Not at all” I say with a giggle.

“Thank you, ´cause it´s killing me” he groaned. “It´s so tight that I´m surprised I haven´t fainted”

As I start to cut the cake, I listen to him start to ramble about dinner. I must admit, seeing him so quite just made me wonder what was going inside his mind. How many jokes did he hold in? How was seeing them again? In what moment was he about to break character?

My questions we rapidly being answered by him as I finished serving the pastry. “Seven, do you want some milk with—” I turn around, I quickly spot Saeran´s silhouette at the end of the hallway. I want to say something, but my body is as stiff as a rock.

“Moon, what is—?”

They crossed eyes for a second, and for the first time since Mint Eye, I could read his face. “Is that…?”

“Yes” Seven answered.

“And you knew?”

“Saeran…I-I´m sorry”

He darted his eyes at me, and in the teal with glimpsed of yellow I could see how hurt he was. “I bet you are” is all he said to me before turned around and walked away.

I quickly went after him, diving my body into the obscure of the hallway. “Saeran! Wait!” I grabbed his arm only for him to pull it back and kept going. “I can explain! Please!”

He stopped and turned around so fast that I slammed my face into his chest. I look up to see his remaining white hairs glimmering, and his eyes shining blue with an expression that brought shivers down my spine. It was a nostalgic view, reminding me of our last night at Magenta.

“I don´t want to know” he muttered, before opening the door behind him and slamming it close. He left me alone in that dark and empty hallway, like he should have done that last night at Magenta.


	11. Chapter 10

It was stupid of me to think that this wouldn´t happen, especially when I kept giving in and coming closer and closer to the fire.

I mange to drag her away from the room where Sarean had locked himself. I left her in her room grabbing a pillow for dear life until she calmed down. I couldn´t bring myself to console her, not when every tear she dropped was a sharp reminder of how stupid I had been.

I took a silent shower, stole a couple of clothes from his drawer and went down to his office. I didn´t even try to open the door, instead I leaned my back to it and let myself slide to the floor.

“hey” I whisper. “are you there?”

No answer.

“I know you are…” my tone grew louder, but there was no need for it thanks to the silence that drown the house. “I know that´s been a while…and I don´t feel like I have the right to say this but…” I felt as my words stopped as I bit my lip. It´s not that I don´t want to say them, it´s just that I never imagined that I would have the chance to say that… “I´m sorry”

My view was fixated on the wall in front of me, but I wasn´t there…My mind was lost on the old memories of our childhood.

Even as kids I knew we were damned, and I didn´t need my mother to yell it at me with her liquorish breath. If I had been alone, I would had accepted my faith of being a juvenile delinquent and let my life be taken away at the first chance I got. But instead, I had a brother, and he was the kindest and most docile soul I´ve ever met…and to let him have that faith…it´s something I couldn´t allow.

“I don´t expect you to understand…” I started again. “or to accepted…I just wanted you to know, and…to tell you that it wasn´t her fault” I said as I remembered all the distress I cause to Moon.

If she hadn´t had the responsibility of caring my secrets, maybe nothing of this would had happen.

“I told her not to say anything…for your sake…and the others. I actually remember how the first thing she wanted to do…” I heard a soft creak on the door, and I wonder if maybe he was listening. “was to run off and tell you…” I let out a small chuckle at the memory of her wide smile. “You sure are lucky to have her”

I paused for another second, as I tried to describe how kind Moon had been to me the last couple of months. Words aren´t enough to tell you how many hours she kept me company, how much she looked after me, and the way she would always spoil me with a Ph. D. Pepper. But something it´s really clear to me. “She´ll do anything for the one she loves, Saeran…and she loves you very much…”

Another creak of the door.

“So…just forgive her…” I said as I stood up. “She shouldn´t pay for my mistakes.”


	12. Chapter 11

I fled to my bed and drowned myself in the sweater I had stolen from him. It felt like the hug I didn´t deserved, but that I wanted.

I really can´t believe I had been so stupid?! How could I hide such secret from him?! From everyone?! I lied to their faces! To his face! And now there is no way he´ll ever forgive me! Nor do I deserve it, but…I want it! I want to be okay with him! I want to hug him and never let him go! I want to hide in his chest and tell him that I´m sorry! I want him to kiss me like he does! I want him to love me as much as I love him!

I cleaned my never-ending tears from my face, but they just kept being fuel but my own thoughts. That was until my phone started blasting with notifications from the other side of my bed.

I jumped for it, hoping to see Saeran´s contact in my screen. Yet, I was found with increasing notification from the R.F.A. chat.

My blurry vision wasn´t up to it, but I unlocked my phone and opened the app.

 **Zen:**  
V!!   
Where were you?!  
U missed the Moon´s and Saeran´s dinner!

 **Yoosung:**  
Yeah…  
…And there were presents.

 **V:**  
Oh  
I´m sorry.  
I didn´t know that was today.   
I would have reprogramed my flight for it.

 **MC:**  
Don´t worry, V.  
It´s fine.  
I saved your present :3

 **V:**   
Hahaha  
Thank you.

 **Jumin:**   
I apologize too.  
I should have reminded you.

 **MC:**  
It´s fine.  
You can come to the one next year.

If I´m even part of the R.F.A. next year.

 **V:**  
I promise.  
But at least I´ll see you in the party.

 **Zen:**   
Yeah!  
It´s in a week or so, right?

 **V:**  
Yeah.  
I actually came here to check how things were going.

 **Jumin:**  
Assistant Kang  
May you report our progress to V?

 **Jaehee:**  
With pleasure.  
The venue is already reserved, as well as the music and decoration.   
We just need to hire a little more staff and settle for a menu to serve.

 **V:**  
That sounds great!  
Thank you so much, Jaehee.  
As hardworking as always.

 **Zen:**  
Yeah!  
Thank you, Jaehee.  
I´m glad that at least on of our corporates is working hard.

 **Yoosung:**   
Here we go.

 **Jumin:**  
Please absent yourself of making double sided comments, Zen.   
This is a serious matter.

 **Zen:**  
And you think I´m not taking it seriously?

As I realized that both must be typing furiously on their phones, that´s when I decided to intervene.

 **MC:**  
Guys, please.  
Don´t fight.  
:,c

 **Zen:**  
See! You made her cry!

 **MC:**  
Your fighting did.  
Now stop, please.

 **Yoosung:**  
I agree with Moon xc  
This is about the party you two.

 **Jumin:**  
My apologize.

 **Zen:**   
Fine :c  
I´m sorry.

 **MC:**  
It`s okay.  
But, where were we?

 **Jaehee:  
** V was asking about the party planning.   
But we have almost everything covered.

 **V:**  
Glad to hear that.  
Moon, how is the guest going?

 **MC:**   
I haven´t contacted anyone.

 **Zen:**  
What?!

 **Yoosung:**  
:0

 **Jaehee:**  
This is very unlike you.  
If it´s because you had so much schoolwork than you could have asked for my help.

 **MC:**  
It´s not because of that.

 **Jumin:**   
Then I hope you don´t mind if I ask the why?

 **MC:**  
I´m sorry.  
But I don´t feel safe inviting any guest until V revels where he has been the last couple of months.

 **V:  
** I thought I told you.  
I was out of town.  
In the mountains.

 **MC:**  
Which mountains?

 **V:**  
Some up north.

 **MC:**  
Can you send me some way to confirm it?

 **V:**  
I think that my word is enough, but if you really need to I´ll send you pictures that I took from there.

 **MC:  
** Thanks.

 **Zen:**  
Woah  
I would have expected this from Yoosung.  
Never from you, Moon.

 **MC:**  
I´m sorry you had to see me this way.  
But I´m just worried.

 **Zen:**  
You also seem suspicious.

Maybe is the fact that I´m so emotionally drained right now that I let my bold tongue talk freely in the chat because…

 **MC:**  
Well, if V didn´t feel like hiding his location all this time maybe I wouldn´t be this way.

 **Yoosung:**  
What you mean?

 **MC:**  
He kept his phone off all for months.  
Saeran tried to locate him through his IP and he just wouldn`t come up.

 **Zen:**  
:0

 **Jaehee:**  
Were you spying on V?

 **V:**  
I just wanted to escape a little.  
You know…  
After everything we went through.

 **MC:**  
And for the same reason I was looking for you.  
This is nothing Seven wouldn´t have done.  
But since I can´t get answers his way.  
Then tell me, V.   
Where were you?  
Who were you with?

 **V:**  
I was alone and in the mountains.  
I`ve told you.

 **MC:**  
Then why does it feel like you are lying.  
Why can´t you give us a location?  
Or at least some proof.

 **V:**  
Moon, I think you are overstepping some boundaries here.

 **Jaehee:  
** I think V is right here.  
It´s part of his privacy not to disclose his location.

 **V:**  
Jumin and Jaehee.  
Can I ask you for a favor?

 **Jumin:**  
Of course.

 **V:**   
Take over Moon´s job.

 **MC:**  
What?!

 **Yoosung:**  
You can´t do that!  
She´s in charge of the guest!  
That´s why she joined the R.F.A. in the first place.

 **V:**   
I know…  
But her lack of cooperation isn´t taking us anywhere.  
And this need to be ready for the party.  
For Luciel´s party.  
If you make up your mind, Moon.

 **MC:  
** What do you mean?!

 **V:  
** I´ll welcome you back.   
But until that you are suspended of the R.F.A.

 **Zen:**  
Omg!

 **Yoosung:**  
V!   
Don´t be like this!  
She is in her right to have questions.

 **Jumin:**  
Yoosung.  
In this case is not that Moon has questions.  
It´s that she is letting her emotions take over her work.  
I agree that the most effective solution for now is that Moon steps away from the party for the time being.

 **V:**   
Thank you, Jumin.  
I´m glad you understand.

 **Zen:**  
Of course the trustfund kid just accepts the decision with no question.

 **V:**  
And I hope the rest of you do soon.

 **Jaehee:**   
I understand…  
But I´m sorry, Moon.


	13. Chapter 12

Just as I exited the group chat, I opened my private conversation with V.

 **MC:**  
Things shouldn´t be like this, V.  
If you were honest, I would be honest too.

 **V:**  
I´m being as transparent as I can, Moon.  
And I wished you understood that.  
What we both know will affect them more than you think.  
And it´s my job to preserve their peace.

 **MC:**   
Fine.  
Have it your way.

I locked my phone and tossed it to the other side of the bed.

God damn it, V! Am I really asking for too much?! I just need you to say that you weren´t with Rika! I just need that! I…just…need everyone to be…okay…I-I…

My thoughts became clouded and I hug myself trying to control the way I was shaking. “Why-y can´t he just be honest?!” I said with a sob. “I-I…just want eve-eryone to be okay…”

“Moon?” I look up to find Seven opening the door.

“Sa-aeyoung” I barely get his name out before I bite my lip and let my body fall onto the bed. “I´m so-orry”

“What?” he says as he walks towards me. “Don´t be sorry! All of this is my fault!”

“No! It´s not!” I hid my face between my hands. As pathetic as I was, I still didn´t want him to see me like this. “It´s mine! I insisted on finding you! I pushed you to your limit! I pushed everyone to their limit! I´m such a bad person!”

“No, that´s not true” I felt his arms around me. “You are the nicest and most attentive person I know…So please don´t say that”

“I´m not!” another sob escaped m body “I just wanted everyone to be happy, but now…I can´t even do that!”

“What?” he pushed me away from him, and I met his yellow eyes filled with worry. “What do you mean?”

I tried to compose myself. Tried to find the courage and stability to not cry in the middle of my sentence, and somehow, I managed. “V suspended me from the R.F.A.”

“He what?”

“I wanted him to tell the truth…and I pushed him…” I wiped my face with my sleeve. “And he kicked me out…and now I can´t do anything…and Saeran hates me and…” I felt my mouth ramble, spilling all my feeling out loud. “It´s all my fault!”

“Moon, I´m—”

“I don´t hate you”

My head jumped in the direction of his voice. I find him standing outside the open door with the kind little smile he always gives me. The smile that I don´t deserve. The smile that I never did, but…

“Saeran…” my legs are weak, but I still mange to stand up and walk towards him. We met halfway and I just feel my body fall into his. “I´m so sorry!” I cried. “I didn´t mean for any of this to happen!”

“Shh…” he whispered as he petted my hair. “You have nothing to apologize.”

I look up at him, not believing what he was saying “But…”

“I asked you to do it, Moon” Saeyoung said behind me. “It´s not your fault”

Saeran nodded giving his brother a conflicted look. “So please…” he laid a thumb on my cheek and wiped away my tears. “don´t cry”

I felt my lip trembling and his face became blurry again. “I love you!” I said as I hide myself in his torso.

“I love you too”.

**Author's Note:**

> I´ll be posting the rest of the chapters along the next days, so don´t worry uwu.
> 
> And before you go, just wanted to say thank you and hope you enjoyed it. 
> 
> Bye.
> 
> -Daninino.


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